Walking Daddy

“The boy got some extra privileges just because he was the son of one of the members. They weren’t amazing, but stuff like getting an extra egg every meal or getting one more potato than the rest. Nothing really special.”

‘I bet even one potato was precious to them.’

“Ha! They should’ve understood his privileges, though. I mean, he was the son of one of the members that risked their lives to help them survive. I can’t understand what the big deal was of him getting an extra potato.”

I could find no reply. Every time I tried to say something to defend the survivors, I couldn’t help but feel sad and bitter, thinking about the boy.

Before the world became like this, Korea used to rank tenth in the world in terms of GDP. Now, it was a country where people fought over potatoes and boiled eggs. The enemy leader clicked his tongue loudly and continued to speak.

“The one that lost their son… They started massacring the survivors in Shelter Jongno, and soon went through a metamorphosis.”

‘Did it turn into a black creature…?’

“Yeah. It wailed horribly as it tore at its flesh. I won’t be able to forget that moment until the day I die.”

The enemy leader bit his lip, his face full of anguish and bitterness. I could understand what he was feeling, even though he was an enemy.

I remembered the time Mr. Kwak had metamorphosed into a black creature. I could still hear and picture his desperate and hopeless wailing, along with his soulless eyes and his torn-up flesh. I tried my best to calm my expression.

‘What happened afterward?’

“Like I said earlier, the gang had three bosses. One of them took all the responsibility.”

‘Took all the responsibility?’

“The greediest one ate the brain of the one that had gone through metamorphosis, then kicked the other boss out of Jongno. The Family moved from a three-leader system to a dictatorship.”

‘That’s so reckless. And the survivors followed that boss?’

“The weak have no choice but to follow when faced with absolute power.”

‘What does that supposed to mean?’

“The boss of the Family… let everyone live, on the condition that they would act as ‘dogs’. The boss ordered the survivors to eat dead bodies. The survivors had to eat human flesh in order to survive and become a ‘dog’.”

His words riled me up.

I couldn’t believe the boss ordered others to eat human flesh. He basically gave them an ultimatum: to become monsters or die. I frowned and asked,

‘Then all the dogs I knew so far…’

“The ones that made it through Shelter Jongno, the useless people that survived under the protection of the gang; they are where the dogs originated from.”

I rubbed my chin, lost in thought. The enemy leader said quietly,

“Why, you still can’t believe what I’m telling you?”

‘Well, you forgot to mention the last one. You said three zombies came together to form the Family. What happened to the zombie that got kicked out from Jongno?’

“Well, about that boss…”

The enemy leader trailed off, his complicated expression shaded with bitterness. At that moment, I remembered something that the enemy leader had said earlier. He’d probably muttered unknowingly, but I’d heard him loud and clear.

- I won’t be able to forget that moment until the day I die.

I recalled the warring emotions on his face after he’d said that. I had to confirm if my theory was correct.

‘Are you…?’

“...”

The enemy leader nodded without saying a word and closed his eyes.

It was him.

He was one of the early members of the Family in Jongno.

I glared at the enemy leader, my eyes flashing.

‘Why, why in the world did you run away?’

“Run away? There wasn’t any hope left there. It was a living hell, full of insanity and despair. My friend that ate the black creature’s brain? My friend changed the moment they gained power.”

‘And you escaped so that you could spare yourself.’

“You… Do you have any kids?”

The enemy leader asked me a rather odd question. So I didn’t say anything and instead looked straight into the enemy leader’s eyes. The enemy leader bit his lips and continued to talk.

“I lived as a gireogi appa[1] all my life and lived everyday in the hopes that my daughter would be happy. Being the person I am, do you know what I desired the most when I lost all hope in Jongno…?”

‘You probably wanted to see your daughter\'s face.’

“You’re right. That’s why I left Jongno with no regrets.”

‘Then why’d you stay in Jongno in the first place? If you wanted to see your daughter that badly, you should’ve gone to your daughter right after you turned into a zombie.’

“I was nervous. I couldn’t think of leaving Jongno when I knew there were zombies and monsters stronger than me all over the place.”

‘Are you saying you gained confidence after you lost hope in Jongno?’

“I developed the mindset that I had nothing to lose. I took a leap of faith, hoping that I could see my daughter\'s face one last time before I die.”

‘You’ve got some nerve to be so shameless.’

“You wouldn’t know. Looking for someone, not knowing if they’re alive or not…”

“...”

“The anxiety of not knowing what would change in you if you happen to face an unbearable reality. You wouldn’t know.”

The enemy leader’s shoulders trembled a little. It seemed he was getting emotional. Just like the previous situation, I knew where the enemy leader was coming from. I, too, had wanted to see my wife badly a couple of months ago.

I used to mutter to myself questions that I wanted to ask my absent wife, such as how I was supposed to survive through the hard times ahead of me. Each time I grew anxious, I would think about what she would have done.

I wondered what would’ve happened if So-Yeon wasn’t with me.

Perhaps I would have gone to Jamsil to look for my wife. Or I might have stayed where I was and died alone.

I let out a deep, bitter breath.

‘So, did you manage to find what you wanted in Seongsu-dong?’

“I’d be dead if I didn’t find her, right? My daughter is alive. She’s getting along with the people in Shelter Seoul Forest.”

“...”

“I had to survive. No matter what it took.”

The enemy leader frowned and his lips trembled. He looked… He looked like a man trying to contain his rage while keeping his tears in.

His reaction made me suspicious. I wondered what made the enemy leader so resentful. I couldn’t figure out what was making him mad. I smacked my lips.

‘Then… Why did you act as though you were a member of the Family even after leaving Jongno?’

“It was on the fifth day after I’d left Jongno, I believe, when a zombie with glowing red eyes came here, looking for me.”

‘A zombie with glowing red eyes?’

“The zombie identified itself as a member of the Family. Of course, I’ve never seen that zombie before. The current boss was recruiting zombies with red eyes and expanding the gang. That zombie told me about what was going on with the Family.”

‘What changed?’

“The Family was being corrupted.”

I swallowed and focused all my attention on the enemy leader’s story.

He took a deep breath while looking into the night sky, as though recalling memories of that day. With a sigh, he finally began to speak.

“After I left Jongno, the Family started to expand their territory. With Jongno at the center, the members of the Family and their ‘dogs’ turned Gangbuk into a paradise for themselves. The authority of the boss who’d eaten the black creature’s brain was absolute.”

‘Well, can’t you just eat a black creature’s brain yourself? Why didn’t you do that?’

“You think it\'s that easy? To turn into a black creature, the one purpose driving a zombie with red eyes has to be destroyed. How in the world would I figure out the desire that drives every individual?”

‘Wait, did you say ‘desire’?’

My eyes narrowed after hearing the word greed. He said ‘desire’ instead of ‘hope’.

My expression grew puzzled. The enemy leader sighed and continued.

“No one knows the truth about the black creatures except for the boss and the officers of the gang. The zombies with glowing red eyes who are used as bait just know that black creatures are dangerous. That’s it.”

‘...Okay, keep talking.’

“Also, the boss controls the black creatures in Gangbuk. Ordinary zombies with glowing red eyes can’t ever dream of having a black creature’s brain. In fact, not even a dong leader can.”

‘It’s a secret even to the dong leaders? Aren’t dong leaders considered pretty strong, even within the Family?’

“It’s pretty safe to say that. The boss appoints dong leaders for each area and gives them some authority.’

‘What authority?’

“Absolute authority over their respected area.”

Everything seemed to fit together now. At that moment, I remembered what the enemy leader had said in desperation earlier on.

- “The only reason Shelter Seoul Forest has been safe until this day is all thanks to me!”

I thought that he was making stuff up to survive, but it seemed like this part, at least, was the truth. The enemy leader took slow, deep breaths before carrying on.

“In order to survive and protect my daughter. I had to become the dong leader of Seongsu-dong.”

‘Is that why you ate people? In order to gain their trust?’

“You think eating a person is the only thing I’ve done? I did everything I had to do to survive.”

The enemy leader shook his head, a slight sneer tugging at his face. I looked him in the face, and could not find a retort.

I had also vowed to do anything in order to protect So-Yeon.

I wondered if I was really that different from the enemy leader. Was it the fact that I had yet to eat a person, while he had? The more we conversed, though, the more we seemed to have in common.

I looked up at the night sky and pushed away the useless thoughts that were cluttering my head with a sigh.

‘If you’re the dong leader of Seongsu-dong, wouldn’t the boss know you made it out alive as well? The boss kicked you out, right? Yet the boss still trusts you?’

“The boss only gets reports, and never moves on their own. The boss probably doesn’t know that I’m even alive.”

‘Then why are you trying to become an officer? If you become the eighth officer, the boss will know that you’re alive for sure.’

“No. Just because you become an officer doesn’t mean that you have to meet the boss. As long as you report consistently, the chances of meeting the boss are slim to none.”

‘...’

“All I want is a black creature’s brain. Once you become an officer, you can get one of the black creature’s brains, which the boss will bestow on you. I’m planning to burn my bridges with the boss after I get a black creature’s brain.”

The enemy leader’s firm will was reflected in his eyes.

Despite his calm voice, he had a murderous look, as if he was trying to release all the anger and resentment he had accumulated over time. I wondered what was causing him such pain.

Love and hate? Resentment? Betrayal? It was hard to pinpoint just one emotion. Something beyond these emotions was fueling the enemy leader’s need for revenge.

Or maybe… He was feeling a sense of guilt over what he had done in the past. Maybe it was anger toward his ignorance, or the fact that he hadn’t gotten rid of the boss of the Family from early on.

The boss would have fainted for at least a week when they’d eaten a black creature’s brain. I wondered if the enemy leader was regretting missing the perfect opportunity to get rid of his former friend.

Feeling uncomfortable, I looked out at the Han River for a brief moment as I organized my thoughts. I now had a clear picture of this so-called organization named ‘the Family’.

I stashed my hands in my pockets and asked the enemy leader,

‘What was this ‘reason’ that you mentioned earlier?’

“Reason?”

‘When you ordered me to kill that person. Didn’t you say you needed to come up with a reason to trick the officers?’

“That was because of the seventh officer. She’s a real vixen. She said she would kick me out of the Family if I didn’t destroy Shelter Seoul Forest. She doesn’t trust me.”

‘What does you getting kicked out have to do with me?’

“Why do you think there’s no connection? Everything happens for a reason, and once you fit the missing pieces together, it all adds up to something in the end.”

I looked down at the enemy leader, my expression calm. He lifted his eyebrows at me.

“A zombie came out of the blue and killed the Majang-dong leader. Do you think an ordinary zombie with glowing red eyes could have done that? No, even a fool wouldn’t fall for that. After all, killing a dong leader isn’t as easy as you think. In other words, the only conclusion is that someone out of nowhere had gotten extremely strong, extremely quickly.”

‘So you think it’s related to the black creatures?’

“Yes. Deep down, I’d hoped it would be a zombie that had eaten a black creature’s brain.”

‘How were you certain that that zombie was me? What grounds did you have to suspect it was me?’

“Because you came running to protect Shelter Seoul Forest. That’s why I wanted to know how strong your will was and how strong of a person you were. I was curious if you would be able to keep that mindset of yours when your life was on the line, even when you were forced to go against your own beliefs.”

I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of plan the enemy leader had after hearing all of this.

‘Your plans. Spit it out.’

“I was going to come up with a treaty to not attack Shelter Seoul Forest, under the condition that you become a member of the Family.”

‘Ha! So you were planning to make me out as the zombie that’s been protecting Shelter Seoul Forest?’

“You’re right. I couldn’t finish you off because you ate a black creature’s brain, and I was planning to broker a nonaggression pact between the shelter and the Family by recruiting you.”

‘Is that why you ordered me to eat a person? To prove that I was suitable to be recruited as a member of the Family?’

“Right on.”

The enemy leader answered me with eyes full of determination. His answer caused me to feel uncomfortable. It seemed like there was a translucent barrier between me and the truth. I could see parts of it, but not the full picture.

‘Then… what were you going to do if, firstly, I’d gone ahead and eaten a person’s brain, and secondly, if I hadn’t eaten a person’s brain?’

“Is that a difficult question? If you’d accepted my offer, you would have become a member of the Family like me, and if you refused, I would’ve just eaten your brain.”

‘I thought you said that you had to report to your superior. If you killed me, wouldn’t that have meant that you’d have to conquer Shelter Seoul Forest?’

“That’s also a no-brainer. I could just make up a report saying that I would be using Shelter Seoul Forest as my food storage since I’d gotten rid of the enemy leader that was protecting it. Pretty easy, if you ask me.”

1. A gireogi appa, literally “goose dad”, is a South Korean term that refers to a man who works in Korea while his wife and children stay in a foreign country ☜